Improv showed me my weakness in an immediate and rather brutal manner

Hoooooo, boy!

I can't even begin to tell you how much I need something to occupy my time at work. There are very obvious choices. Like reading, or learning a new language, or even writing something meaningful. But I spent a solid half an hour re-reading my old blog posts and it re-ignited the flame to write out my inane thoughts again. Stream of consciousness style. The worst possible style for me. No editing, just writing.

This is actually a good exercise for me because I recently (today) decided that I want to try to write more and feel more confident about it. Not sure that this is exactly the best step, but worth a shot. What inane thoughts do I have today. Here are some:

1. I took an improv class yesterday and it did make me realize that I am not good at thinking on my feet. It makes sense because that was part of why I took the class. I say class, but it was more of a one night workshop. Anyway, the instructor had the four people that had never done improv get on the stage and do an exercise with four people that have done it before. It was terrifying. The entire time I was on stage I was sweating. Not profusely, but my armpits were damp about 70% of the class. I feel like in normal conversation I can keep up pretty well. I like to think I can make a quick joke here and there. But doing improv is so stressful. Knowing there's an audience and all they're doing is sitting and judging you puts a weight on me like none other. Thankfully I didn't freeze, but nothing I said really made sense. I ended up laughing at myself because of how ridiculous my responses were (according to the worksheet we were given at the end, laughing at yourself is a BIG NO... oops). The second activity I volunteered for* was even worse. I had a partner and we were supposed to start doing a physical activity silently and then start talking and somehow incorporate them together. I was so focused on what I was doing that I didn't have brain space to even figure out what the other person was doing. Then we were able to talk and I could not figure out how to connect my activity (tennis) with whatever they were doing. Plus, as you're doing the activity you have to think about where the invisible objects are in the room, what your "character" wants from the other person, and how to communicate where you are and who you are to the audience in a subtle way that isn't obnoxious while also trying to give a semblance of a direction to what you're doing with another person.

2. All that being said, there was one point where I got a laugh from the rest of the class in the midst of that chaos. And that was really a good feeling. I considered signing up for the actual class that starts next month, but I've actually signed up for a stand up comedy class. And last year I took two community ed classes simultaneously (intro to pickleball and cooking 101) and it was exhausting. So I made a vow that I wouldn't EVER take two classes at the same time. But the improv was fun and it would be really a good feeling to be able to accomplish more with it. Like be able to think clearly IN THE MOMENT to be able to do all the things I mentioned above. Not for any reason other than feel good about my ability. And I suppose thinking faster under pressure! That would just be so nice. Especially in setting boundaries and dealing with people I don't like.

3. Wow, I just zoned out thinking about the workshop and what I tried to do and what I could have done better. Maybe it's worth breaking my vow. Ooooh, not the best look for the first post. She's a VOW BREAKER! Hmmmm, I have much to consider.

Those are some of my current thoughts. I'll be back with more vapid thoughts soon enough, but hopefully that will tide you over!

*Ally and G, whom I LOVE, were talking in a video about how you should always sit in the front row and you should always put your hand up to volunteer so I tried it with this class. It really was fun to try (the key word here, a long ways from succeeding) more improv so I think it was worth it to volunteer!